To the irate caller, the recipient of an unsolicited mailer offering loan packages at exorbitant interest rates, who wished to speak to the Big Shot whose name appeared on the mailer, and who, after I told him several times that he could neither speak to said Big Shot nor leave him a message, asked me, “Do you speak Quaker?”

What I should have said:

“If you will hold one moment, sir, I will transfer you to our Quaker Specialist. If she doesn’t pick up, feel free to leave her a message.”

What I said:

“No.”

To which the irate caller responded:  “Two words:  Fuck thee.”