Hey, Bullshitters. Traci here. Addressing a little too much bullshit for Bullshit, which means you get the pleasure of David Anderson’s unique and abundant bullshit. I mean, Bullshit. Enjoy.
I don’t have anything more bullshitty than convening a panel of celibate men to provide expert testimony on women’s reproductive issues, and you don’t need a bullshit fluffer to find news about people saying stupid stuff about contraception.
So I’m calling bullshit on the stuff that I can’t believe is true.
This Jeremy Lin thing has to be a hoax. There’s no way a guy can do what he’s done. These games are being choreographed in the same sound stage as the lunar landings. First Tebow, now Linsanity. At least with Tebow we only had to deal with one new verb. Jeremy Lin is a whole new language. Or would that be Linguistics?
I don’t believe anybody is paying attention to Chuck Norris or Dave Mustaine, but I’m not ruling anything out in this primary season. Rick Santorum is leading Mitt Romney in Romney’s home state, so maybe the Megadeath endorsement does have some sway.
I call bullshit on Dick Lugar not being conservative enough to represent Indiana. Or Indiana enough.
I believe that Elvis has left the building, but could Whitney Houston have faked her own death to pump up sales? Forgive me. Nobody is that marketing savvy.
I can’t believe that Tiger shot 75 on Sunday. Or that Tiger Woods has his own sports writers to cover Tiger Woods for the Tiger Woods website.
GM posted record profits this week, but everyone knows that American car companies don’t make money.
The FDA is busting Amish raw milk dealers in Pennsylvania. I, for one, applaud the effort, but some of you foodies might think it’s bullshit. When in doubt, I side with science and appreciate the CDC.
The Koch brothers don’t always side with science. They call bullshit on climate change and produce “educational material” to back that up.
I am skeptical that anybody who developed these eight toys still has a job. Except the vibrating broomstick. I’m sure that was a big hit with the sexy witches at the neighborhood Halloween parties.
You can’t believe everything you hear about animals either. I am happy for lemmings and frogs—although we will have to come up with new metaphors to explain our skepticism of climate change.