“During the layover in Chicago I was served coffee by a clown. At 6:30am. That is all.” Matt Mays‘s life is literally turning into a circus.
“Seeing as I’ve never left the Midwest, I can only imagine what it might be like–the thrill of the big, filthy city. Which brings me to my point: your return.” The State of Indiana gets all possessive of Matt Mays.
“There. Now keep that fucking thing away from me.” Matt Mays gets the customary L.A. greeting.
The nanny-show people are now booking parents who are heroin addicts. “You know, like, for later in the season when the shit gets rill, rill deep, yo.” Matt Mays is swimming with the sharks.
“One of my building’s tenants told me to he saved our building by using a garden hose to wet his landscaping and praying to Allah. He said he threw the I Ching earlier and it said ‘joyous.’ Also, he used to manage Stone Temple Pilots.”