Gene Schmidt on a “humorous practice” that may be nearly as old as the fortune cookie.
“Well well well. Look who’s come to me, the last person they ever wanted to come to for help,
for help.” Evan Eggers lays down the law.
“Our spies tell us the Mercian army has ordered a shit ton of those Sword Point presentation markers that erase with a little water, which indicates a serious strategy is unfolding and soon. We hope to be ahead of the eight ball, and so with this note I have attached a presentation with visuals on our strategy.” New fiction from Elizabeth Green.
“There is a secret in early adulthood no one tells you, which is that your asshole becomes a problem. I am telling you this because I am your father, and I love you.” Michael Wheaton has advice for his son.
Dear “Friends”: We are thrilled to announce our latest update to our lexicon here at Facebook headquarters. As of today, the term “user” will be replaced with “person.” This may take a few moments to sink in, but you will soon begin to experience even more deeply the pleasures, mysteries, and yearnings that define the…
“It’d have to be tiny to fit in the pocket, unless he’s donned a pair of voluminous clown pants…with lead lined pockets…that won’t alarm border security…Como the Clown with his sizzling junk and a catcher’s mitt the size of an Alsatian.” Ben Allmon busts some out-of-this-world lyrics.