“Ironically, in today’s marketplace successful nonfiction has to be unbelievable, while successful fiction must be believable.”
- Jerry B. Jenkins
“She says she’s too old. She’s 26. Popping out two kids will make you think that way, I guess. I tell her she’s crazy, and that guys don’t really care about that shit.” It’s a matter of timing, says Mark Patrick Spencer.
“Then it comes to me: it should be me! I should be the one up there on the towers, grammatically perfecting the General Mills building, adding to the original message in my own way.” What Sandy Hiortdahl would do for an apostrophe.
“Speaking of lower standards, if you’re one of the kids I’m writing about and you’re reading this, I should warn you that at some point here I am going to talk about having sex with your father.” JM Randolph sink even lower.
“At work, they asked us to please stop drinking. People had been pouring wine under their desks. I just don’t think alcohol is necessary, our vice president said, clearly not living in the same universe as the rest of us.” Michael Nagel reflects on life after the Boston Marathon bombing.
“When the Apocalypse finally comes (depending on what Jack Van Impe eventually determines), Versailles will be burnt to cinders, and Solvang will be untouched.” Christopher Records wonders about what survives.
“Ratsnacker the Brave is black with a grey undercoat. She’s diminutive and has a z-shapedkink in her tail. She walks with an odd shoulder lurch, not unlike John Wayne.” A feral cat adopts Camille Griep.
“I knew a phone call would be difficult, that I might not get through; even if I did, the connection might be so poor as to be heartbreaking. Considering myself well advised, I thumbed a chopper ride to Saigon early on Saturday morning.” Ray Kemble phones home.
“There was no indoor plumbing in the village, and no need for it as far as she was concerned. I had certain practical questions, and received practical answers. In place of toilet paper, I was promised an abundance of rocks.” Evan Denno copes with the accommodations in Eastern Tibet.
“How could this warped Zeitgeist take hold? Was it because order was upset with the ending of the Harry Potter series? Was it because Republican men were trying to steal women’s right to have days at all?” Just say yes to Kara Panzer.
“It’s inexcusable that task forces on teacher evaluation and assessment go forward with their plans without bothering with soliciting teacher input.” Christopher Records calls for teacher involvement in education reform.