Eulogy for a 2001 Honda Civic

“I’ve come here to bury my Civic, yes, but also I must praise her. I put more than 100,000 miles on that car. I drove her all over the Midwest, to Cleveland, Chicago, and Nashville. I commuted daily for years. When I needed to go somewhere, she went with me.” John King says goodbye.

A Lesson Plan on Irony: Paul Walker Memorial Version

“The true definition of irony eludes many students, but by using examples to which they can relate or easily understand, an instructor can demystify this concept for them and impart lasting learning outcomes that will more effectively equip students for standardized testing.” John King lays out a plan.

Second Chance: John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness

“John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness became “The Scariest Movie I’ve Ever Seen” sometime in 1988, the night Dad brought home the VHS tape from the video store. I was 13 years old.” John King relives the horror.

August 12, 2013
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A Rough Transcript of Pretty Much Every Homemade Podcast

“We had to do something a little different with Mel Brooks, though. We didn’t just want to interview him. Instead, we decided to interview him while he built a birdhouse with me.” A podcast by John King.

May 12, 2013
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A Modest Proposal to the Internet’s Self-Appointed Grammar Experts

“Dear friend, you’re not Hitler. You’re not even Goebbels or Himmler or any of those guys. You are a human being with thoughts and feelings, and to the best of my knowledge, you have never led or participated in a continental campaign to eradicate minorities you arbitrarily decided were bad.” John King has a proposition for you.

September 25, 2012
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Loss Prevention, Or Getting Out Of A Bad Job

“You know those casually dressed, undercover security officers who walk around carrying light merchandise and acting as though they are shopping just like anyone else, when really they’re watching everyone else?” John King used to be one of them.

September 10, 2012
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On High Fidelity, Commitment, And Not Being A Miserable Git

“I re-watch High Fidelity about once a year, just to see how much I’ve changed.” John King reconsiders his feelings for a great rock-and-record-shop film.

March 26, 2012
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ent_sports_movs_hoosiers ent_sports_movs_hoosiers

On Hoosiers, Underdogs, And Dirt

“I’d bring the ball inside for the night and go to the sink to wash my hands, which were covered in the kind of dirt I didn’t want to wash off.” John King takes another look at Hoosiers.