Author Archives: David Anderson
“The second weekend in September has been officially declared the third best weekend to get a vasectomy.” What does this have to do with sports? David Anderson has your answer.
“Don’t let anybody talk you into anything less than the commode that can flush 18 golf balls. Throw away the plunger.” David Anderson makes a game of thrones.
“Where are the cries that the farm lobby is driving us to the brink of socialism? Are we willing to ask whether Indiana farmers need $183 million in annual direct payments? Would we feel the same about direct payments if Henry County was 96.2% minority?” David Anderson is just asking.
“On the precipice of another epic adventure, sixty-three games in twenty-two days, it is only appropriate that in Indiana, where it is religion, we ask the basketball gods to look over us and bless our men of twists and turns on the hardwood floors of this great country.” Sing it, David Anderson.
“When Sylvester Stallone makes a shitty movie (link to any of a dozen movies), Sly doesn’t tell people he ‘deserves’ the support of his fans. Sports are entertainment, and the product needs to provide entertainment value.” The fans (aka David Anderson) write back.
“The NFL and the NBA don’t want to pay for development costs. The players unions don’t want to face the competition of younger players taking up spots on the roster.” Sports Czar David Anderson says, don’t blame the NCAA.
“Whenever the Cubs lead the division in June, please taunt Cardinal fans by proclaiming that this might actually be the year.” Just one of the ways David Anderson wants us to update his Facebook status after he’s gone.
“Dad: This family meeting has been called to discuss the shoe situation. I want to go over the Hierarchy of Shoe Storage and review appropriate behavior modifications.” David Anderson sits down with the family.
“Work on your coefficient against dying.” David Anderson suggests apples, Streaks, Bassey, and more.
“There are billions of justifications to retire the penny and only nonsensical reasons to keep minting them. But the real reason you need to care about the great penny debate is a political one.” David Anderson wants death to all pennies.