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Lyricbuster: The Como Comet

“It’d have to be tiny to fit in the pocket, unless he’s donned a pair of voluminous clown pants…with lead lined pockets…that won’t alarm border security…Como the Clown with his sizzling junk and a catcher’s mitt the size of an Alsatian.” Ben Allmon busts some out-of-this-world lyrics.

Tina Turner

Lyricbuster: Tinatis

“At first glance this seems nothing more than the hyperbole you say to your lover in the first throes of togetherness—indeed, it’s ludicrous to imagine expressing such a sentiment after twenty years of married white noise. But upon closer examination, this is concentration run amok.” Ben Allmon puts more lyrics to the test.

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Lyricbuster: Communion and the Corazón… and ón and ón and ón.

The Song “How Will I Know?”, a 1985 song penned by George Merrill, Shannon Rubicam and Narada Michael Walden, and sung by Whitney Houston on her debut album. It was originally intended for Janet Jackson, who astutely turned it down, perhaps instinctively sensing the cardio-spiritual mayhem lurking in this deceptively effervescent song. The Culprit “I…

July 22, 2015
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Lyricbuster: The Cetera Fire Sale

The Song: “If You Leave Me Now”, 1976 hit penned by Peter Cetera and performed by him and the band Chicago, who were presumably unaware of the hideous consequences of Pete’s girlfriend leaving him. The Culprit If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me. The Biggest… Something Pete and his…

June 11, 2015
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Lyricbuster: Timberlake + Timbaland = Timberriver

The Song: “Cry Me a River”, 2002 song by Scott Storch, Timothy “’Timbaland” Mosley, and Justin Timberlake, performed by the latter. Of course, there is an older song by the same title, but Lyricbuster thought it best to give the classics a break and hassle someone from this century. Plus, you don’t mess with Ella…

May 15, 2015
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Lyricbuster: The Pitney Deathgrip

The Song: “24 Hours from Tulsa”. 1963 Gene Pitney tune penned by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, whose undeniable skill didn’t prevent them from unwittingly interweaving an unspeakable undertone into their Dustbowl ditty. The Culprit. “Told her I’d die before I would let her out of my arms.” Gene’s got a girl in Tulsa, someone…

April 20, 2015
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Lyricbuster: Warp Speed, Mr. Chung

The Song: “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.” 1986 tune performed by the band Wang Chung, and written by Jeremy Ryder, Nick Feldman and Peter Wolf; three men who were, quite literally, ahead of their time. The Culprit: “I’ll drive a million miles to be with you tonight!” We know from Mickey Thomas in the first Lyricbuster…

March 16, 2015
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Lyricbuster: The Grapevine Paradox

The Song: “I Heard it Through The Grapevine.” 1966 song by Barrett Strong and Norman Whitfield, who had a number of Motown hits which avoided the entropic mayhem they unleashed with this number, sung most memorably by Marvin Gaye in 1968. The Culprit. “People say believe half of what you see, son, and none of what…

February 18, 2015
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Lyricbuster: I Fooled Around and Fell in Love

The Song: “I Fooled Around and Fell in Love.” 1975 tune by the otherwise respectable ElvinBishop (as sung by Mickey Thomas, the man who built a city on rock and roll, regrettably). The Culprit. “I must have been through about a million girls.” Crowing about one’s conquests is nothing new—Guillaume IX, the earliest troubadour whose work…