Welcome Letter

Dear [employee’s name]:

Welcome and congratulations on your decision to join the Gotham City Taxi LLC team! We are delighted to have you representing our company in one of the most exciting locations in the world.

As you are well aware, it is vital that taxi drivers remain neither seen nor heard, and you have been selected from a competitive pool of candidates because yours is a face that is unlikely to distract heroes, villains, extras, or filming crews. For this we salute you.

Your potential as a driver has also earned you a spot on this coveted list. On a daily basis, you will be required to navigate collapsing skyscrapers and bridges, escape flooding tunnels, and quickly repair your company vehicle in the likely event it becomes collateral damage in the ongoing fight of good versus evil. We have the utmost confidence that our three-day orientation will enable you to deliver great performances under pressure.

Our Number One priority is to ensure a safe and swift ride for you and your many passengers. Please be aware that due to the rising costs of health care, all drivers are required to purchase their own insurance plans before reporting to work for Gotham City Taxi LLC. A list of approved providers is located on our website.

Below you will find a pre-arrival checklist as well as the Orientation Program schedule. Enclosed are our employee handbook as well as an air freshener and a pile of moist towelettes, in correlation with the Gotham City “Keep Cabs Clean” initiative. Once again, congratulations and welcome to our fleet!

Sincerely,

 

Henry Aquista, CEO

and all of us here at Gotham City Taxi LLC

 

Before You Arrive 

  • Activate Your Online Account
  • Print Two Copies of Driver’s License
  • Print Two Copies of Health Insurance Card
  • Print Two Copies of Immunization Record
  • Complete W2s
  • Complete Power of Attorney Form
  • Complete Advance Directives Form
  • Retain a Lawyer

 

Orientation Schedule

Day One

8:30 a.m. Breakfast Buffet

9:00 a.m. Opening Remarks

9:30 a.m. Driver-Passenger Confidentiality: A Gotham City Taxi LLC Guarantee

10:15 a.m. Coffee Break

10:30 a.m. The Basics I: Collecting Fares in a Battle Zone

10:45 a.m. The Basics II: Evasive Maneuvering

11:00 a.m. HR Session

12:00 p.m. Brown-Bag Lunch

1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Insurance Claims

 

Day Two

8:30 a.m. Breakfast Buffet

9:00 a.m. Tricks of the Trade: Essential Repairs for Moderately Severe to Severe Automobile Damage

10:00 a.m. Survival Skills I: Seeking the Shadows and Muffling Your Screams

10:15 a.m. Team-Building: Cliffhangers

11:00 a.m. Coffee Break

11:15 a.m. Survival Skills II: So Your Cab Is in the Queens River. Now What?

11:30 a.m. Hazardous Materials and You: Separating Myth from Fact

12:00 p.m. Brown-Bag Lunch

1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Insurance Claims

 

Day Three

8:30 a.m. Breakfast Buffet

9:00 a.m. Technology Training: Taximeters, GPS, and Credit Cards

9:15 a.m. Survival Skills III: Communicating Distress When Cab Technology Fails

10:00 a.m. Coffee Break

10:15 a.m. Alternate Routes: How Much Rubble Is Too Much Rubble?

10:45 a.m. Team-Building: Two Truths and a Lie

11:30 a.m. Running for Your Life: When?

12:00 p.m. Brown-Bag Lunch

1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Insurance Claims

5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Potluck Dinner (See details below)

 

You Are Cordially Invited to Attend the Gotham City Taxi LLC Potluck Dinner*

You and one guest are cordially invited to attend the Potluck Dinner at the conclusion of our Orientation Program. In order to respect the dietary needs of all guests, remember to keep your dish free of gluten, dairy, nuts, shellfish, and soy. Please RSVP to Susan with a suggested dish before the start of orientation and stay within the following categories (drinks and utensils will be provided):

  • appetizers/snacks
  • main dishes
  • side dishes/salads
  • desserts
  • survival kit staples

 

*In the event of inclement weather or significant damage to the office building, new employees will be blindfolded and transported in secure vehicles to our off-site location free of charge.

 

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Jason A. Bartles received his PhD in Latin American Literatures and Cultures from the University of Maryland, College Park. He is an Assistant Professor of Spanish at West Chester University. His most recent work appears in Aztlán and Revista Iberoamericana, and he is currently completing a book on politics and literature in the 1960s.

 

Katherine Ann Davis earned an MFA from the University of Maryland and a PhD from the University of Tennessee. Her most recent work appears in Gravel and in Broad River Review, and she won Gigantic Sequins‘ 2014 Flash Fiction Contest. Currently, she lives in Wisconsin, serves as a fiction editor for 3Elements Review, and is completing a novel.