Hey Lisa, hello? It’s me again. I guess you’re not there, but I was, uh…I was just calling to see what you thought about my idea. My offer, I guess you could call it, the one I called about yesterday. Did you get that message?

Well, I don’t know if you can even have pets in your building, but everyone likes puppies, right? At least, you seem like the kind of person who would, from what I can tell. I mean, I don’t really know you that well yet, but like I said, I’d like to get to know you better, so….

So, yeah, it would be just the one date, and then it would be yours, free and clear. I mean, I hope it wouldn’t be just ONE date, but I suppose it could be, if things didn’t work out. Which I hope they would, but still, I suppose they might not. But who knows, right? I mean, who can tell after just one date, you know? But that’s okay, I guess; either way, you’d get to keep the puppy.

And we could do something fun, like, we could go to the shelter and pick it out right there! That would be a fun date, right? Going to the shelter? Seeing all those—all those puppies and kittens. Hearing their little barks and meows in their…their little cages….

Or we could go to a movie, your pick. Maybe that new one with Salma Hayek. Or, whatever, you know, whatever you’d want to see.  And then you’d get the puppy.

Or a dog, if you wanted to adopt an older pet, which would be kinda neat. That would be a really nice thing to do, actually.  I’ll bet you’d do that—I mean, you seem like someone who would do something nice like that.

Although you might want a cat. I guess I could deal with a cat. But wow, listen to me, what am I saying? It would be YOUR cat, it’s not like I’d be living with it right away…or at all, no pressure of course, ha ha! No pressure. No one knows how these things will go, right? Ha ha ha….

It’s just that, uh…well, I hope you’re not looking for a cat, because—I haven’t told many people this—as a child I was kind of attacked once, by a cat. It was a Persian, which, I know, they look all cute and fluffy, right? But it was pretty terrible, actually. I guess the cat thought I was about to sit on it, which I wasn’t, but it thought I was, and…well, there was some surgery involved.

But don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate cats or anything. I know lots of girls have them. I mean, maybe you already have one. But if you don’t, you might think about a puppy, because I don’t know if I could actually live with a cat. But I guess I could if….

Whoa, yeah, sorry, I guess I’m getting a bit ahead of myself again, huh? Ha ha ha! No, right now it’s just the…just the one date and the puppy. And we’ll uh…we’ll just see what happens from there.

Okay? So okay, Lisa, call me back.

Oh my god, is this…?

Laura!  Laura. Of course I meant Laura, ha ha! Did I say Lisa? Whoo, ha ha, that was crazy, of course I meant Laura. And everything I just said, that whole deal, is for you—for Laura.

So, call me back.  And if I’m on the other line, just leave your name and number.


Cover photo by Prachi Mantri from India (Puppies, Part 2) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.